8)
Venom
Tom Hardy plays a free-lance
reporter who gets on the wrong side of a dodgy science experiment.
Luckily for him, the alien (Venom) who now controls his body takes a
shine to him and they form an unlikely alliance against the man who
conducts the cruel tests.
Venom was
a fun ride, though it feels painfully unoriginal alongside other,
better Marvel films.
Without Hardy it was unlikely to be the success it was!
MY RATING: 3 STARS OUT OF 5
7) Hotel
Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation
Dracula (Adam Sandler) is
coerced into taking a break from running his hotel, and going on a
cruise, by his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez). Their family and all
their friends come along too, and Dracula falls in love with the
ship's Captain...who also happens to be the granddaughter of his
greatest enemy.
The premise was great, the
animation was gorgeous, but after two previous films it already felt
tiresome coming into it. Who decided the Macarena was a good song choice to dance to? Still, like its predecessors, A Monster Vacation will be
entertaining enough when there's nothing better to watch on TV.
MY RATING: 3 STARS OUT OF 5
6)
The Grinch
The Grinch was
heart-warming, enough. It looked beautiful, and His Green-ness was
gleefully grumpy, but it still feltredundant and a shameless
cash-grab. My favourite addition was Fred the rotund reindeer.
MY RATING: 3 STARS OUT OF 5
5)
Red Sparrow
It sounded exactly like the
Black Widow film Marvel fans are still waiting for, but the amount of
predictable double-crossing and explicit sexual scenes just made for
uncomfortable viewing. Also I'm fairly sure a man watching it on his
own while I was there was enjoying the whole thing far too much...
MY RATING: 3 STARS OUT OF 5
4)
The Greatest Showman
(Okay, okay. The film might have been released in late 2017, but I saw the Sing-Along version in 2018).
The Beast from the East brought
me to see this film. After too many days stuck at home, I was begging
to get out for any reason at all, and the loud and raucous hype
around The Greatest Showman drew me in. Yes, the soundtrack was and remains marvellous, but the plot and characters left a helluva lot to be
desired.
MY RATING: 2 STARS OUT OF 5
3) Early Man
Aah, Aardman. I missed you.
This time you brought Eddie Redmayne, Tom Hiddleston and Game of
Thrones' Maisie Williams along for the ride. Early Man juggled
the familiar animation Aardman are famous for with an obvious love
for football. Except there were too many questions unanswered and it
was a stereotypical under-dog story that was...really boring.
MY RATING: 2 STARS OUT OF 5
As a belated (and painfully
irrelevant) sequel to Gnomeo and Juliet, the gnomes are moved
to London. When it transpires gnomes are going missing, Gnomeo (James
McAvoy) and Juliet (Emily Blunt) enlist the mind of – you guessed
it – Sherlock Gnomes and Watson.
I went in the cinema with
pretty low expectations... I was neither disappointed or surprised.
Sherlock Gnomes sniggered at its own poor humour, and didn't
seem to know who it was appealing to at all. Also, what was with the Elton John soundtrack?
MY RATING: 2 STARS OUT OF 5
Behold, the dumbest Jurassic
Park sequel so far! Claire and Owen (Bryce Dallas Howard and
Chris Pratt) return to the ill-fated Jurassic World because a volcano
is about to blow up and they want to save all the dinosaurs. Oh, and
Blue the velociraptor is still alive. A billionaire named Hammond –
I mean, Lockwood helps them on their way, but some associates of his
have other ideas for the dinosaurs.
Yeah. It was basically Jurassic
Park III but everyone made utterly terrible life decisions. Although
Claire changed her shoes, and Owen was miraculously impervious to
lava. It was almost an insult to watch. Also, clone daughter? Hear
that? That's the whole audience collectively face-palming in despair.
MY RATING: 2 STARS OUT OF 5
(but I think I was being too generous)
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