I have a bizarre relationship with horror films. As a child, I hated the very idea of sitting and watching something for the sake of being scared. What’s more, I was scared incredibly easily. I distinctly remember being terrified of Van Helsing when I went to see it at the cinema with my family.

Yes, that Van Helsing.

Now, as an adult, I still spook easily, but I enjoy it more. With Halloween just days away, I thought I would share my list of favourite films within the scary genre.

My choices are either due to shameless nostalgia (so, yes, Van Helsing will feature) or because I found the films genuinely entertaining. Like my “Disney…” reviews, these are based purely on my opinion, and there will be an additional rating on how scary I find these movies out of 5 (5 being absolutely terrifying) and their entertainment value (1 being tedious).

Also, there will be some small spoilers, so proceed at your peril! Without further ado, let’s begin with Number 10…

Van Helsing poster: The tagline reads “Adventure lives forever.” A vast full moon looms behind green clouds and Dracula’s castle with bats and Dracula in his winged form. Frankenstein’s monster stands on the right, and a giant werewolf stands on the left. Van Helsing and Anna Valerious (Beckinsale) hold various weapons at their sides.

1) Van Helsing (2004)

Directed by Steven Sommers, Van Helsing plays hard and loose with Bram Stoker’s creations. Abraham Van Helsing is now young and attractive (Hugh Jackman), living with my most hated plot ploy of memory loss. He is employed by the Vatican to rid the world of evil, which, naturally, includes Dracula. Van Helsing is unwillingly accompanied to Transylvania by a friar named Carl (David Wenham). The vampire is also slightly handsome (when he’s not in his winged form). Oh, and Kate Beckinsale and Frankenstein’s monster are there, too.

The film’s prologue is a nod to the traditional Hammer horror films, and I still love the fluidity of Dracula’s wives taking wing. And Carl because every hero needs a Carl. However, the werewolf transformations look terrible now, which is ironic because it scared me most when I saw it at the cinema, and there are a fair few jump-scares that really got me.

The plot is a hot mess, and though I’m no longer terrified of it, Van Helsing remains compelling to watch, which is why it has such a place in my heart and this list.

As an observation, Sommers seems to have a thing about creatures that can unhinge their jaws. Maybe he has a phobia of snakes?

When someone eats the last of the chocolate cake.

GIF Description: A woman has lifted her black veil, revealing her beautiful face. She snarls, and her red-lipsticked mouth stretches as her jaw unhinges like a snake’s. Her canine teeth elongate, her skin whitens, and her eyes turn reptilian. It’s a little scary.

SCARE-FACTOR: 2

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 3

Monster House poster: Our three heroes stand in a dark forest with their backs to us. The title is written in red capital letters. The haunted house seems to glare at the three tweens through two ominously glowing windows. Its chimney smokes, and our heroes’ silhouettes are illuminated by the open door beyond a crooked porch.

9) Monster House (2006)

Unlike number 10 in this list, Monster House continues to unsettle me to this day. Its animation style looks like stop-motion at times, which makes things almost realistic. I know it is a children’s film, but Monster House is dark. It starts off with a little girl on her bike, getting snatched off the pavement and being consumed by the house in question. The house’s owner is a weird old man, Nebbercracker (Steve Buscemi), who has a heart attack and collapses on top of our main character, young RJ. That’s childhood trauma right there! Nevertheless, RJ, his friend Chowder, and goody-goody, Jenny, soon discover the house is like a living thing with organs and a uvula. Yes, Monster House taught me what a uvula was, so that was nice.

But what isn’t nice? The root cause of the haunting; not because it’s scary, but because it is so sad. It was a twist I did not expect, and it still affects me now, bittersweet ending and all.

SCARE-FACTOR: 3

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 3

IT poster: The poster is dark, with its title written in scrawling red letters. A boy in a bright yellow raincoat has his back to us with his hood up. A shiny red balloon is in the centre of the poster, shrouded in a shadow, and held on a string by a white-gloved Pennywise. We can’t see his face, but something tells me we really, really don’t want to…

8) IT (2017)

The children of Derry are being murdered by a mysterious entity, known as It, or Pennywise the Clown. The adults don’t seem to notice or care, but five kids set out to stop the creature once and for all.

Ah, yes, Pennywise. I could have featured the 1990 version on Tim Curry’s performance alone, but the rest of it was too corny for me to get scared. But yeah. Clowns are terrifying, and Skarsgård’s Pennywise is no different. While it’s a mishmash of humour and horror that only gets weirder in Chapter 2, I was in a constant state of dread throughout, which was not helped by the fact I was one of two people in the screen when I saw it at the cinema.

Should we panic now?

Picture Description: Well, here he is. Dressed in a frilly ruff, Pennywise the clown’s head is unnaturally large with a bulbous, white forehead and receding ginger hair. His yellow eyes are hooded with vertical red stripes running from his non-existent eyebrows down his cheeks to meet in both corners of his smiling mouth. It is not a friendly smile.

SCARE-FACTOR: 3.5

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 4

The Omen poster: The poster is black with Damien as a dark figure outlined in white. His shadow is a black beast outlined the same way. His mother and father looked horrified and concerned in black and white. The tagline reads, “You have been warned. If something frightening happens to you today, think about it. It could be…” The Omen is written in red capital letters. The film’s cast and crew are written in a white at the bottom.

7) The Omen (1976)

Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) seems to be plagued by death in bizarre circumstances. Could it be that his son, Damien, is the son of the Devil?

I don’t usually like horror relating to children, especially at their expense, but that’s not why The Omen features here. Sure, Damien’s stare is a little unnerving, but I place the blame mostly on the film’s famous score. If hell had a choir, it would sound like this, and I adore it.

I also love/hate the constant uncertainty – is it all just in Robert’s mind, or is Damien really the son of the Devil? –The strange, often gruesome events surrounding Damien help to increase the growing horror that, yes, something is wrong, and there’s actually something unnatural buried in the grave of Damien’s true mother. I feel sick with dread just by remembering it.

SCARE FACTOR: 4.5

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 3

The Cabin in the Woods poster: (From the top) The grey shadows of trees fade to white the further down we go on the poster. In the centre, a dilapidated cabin is twisted out of shape, similar to an unsolved puzzle. The title sits underneath a tagline: “You think you know the story.”

6) The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Probably the most unique horror film I’ve seen in a long time, The Cabin in the Woods fondly messes about with the tropes we are familiar with. On the one hand, we follow five young people (hello, Chris Hemsworth) on a trip to a cabin in the woods with all sorts of creepy going on. So far, so predictable, right? At the same time, an underground organisation is watching and manipulating their every move.

The Cabin in the Woods isn’t necessarily scary, but I enjoyed the plot’s gradual revelations, especially as some of it caught me completely unawares. Also, all those horrific creatures being let loose from their cages at the end: nightmare fuel, pure and simple.

SCARE FACTOR: 2

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 4

Fright Night poster: Oh, boy! There are two taglines here. (From top) “There are some very good reasons to be afraid of the dark” floats in a night sky with a glowing moon. An ominous fog made of demonic faces with big teeth erupts from a suburban house adjoined by two trees. The title (Fright Night)is white with the ‘F’ and ‘T’ elongated like vampire canines. Another tagline reads, “If you love being scared, it’ll be the night of your life.”

5) Fright Night (1985)

No, not the 2011 remake (although David Tennant wearing eyeliner and leather trousers was something that 18-year-old-me didn’t know she needed in her life). Both versions tell the story of a young man named Charley, who has a new neighbour. Jerry (Chris Sarandon this time) is handsome and charming, yet Charley witnesses him seduce and bite a girl, revealing him to be a vampire. Unfortunately, his girlfriend nor his friend, Ed, one believe Charley, and especially not Peter Vincent (the brilliant Roddy McDowell), who he reaches out to due to his “experiences” with killing vampires in his cult TV show, “Fright Night.”

Based on the acting alone, Fright Night certainly has its awful moments, but it’s Jerry’s shockingly sensual moments with Charley’s girlfriend and the use of practical effects that cause the film to linger in my brain. The vampires look genuinely hideous in their “true” forms, and Ed’s death is both pitiful and stomach-churning.

SCARE-FACTOR: 3

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 3

American Werewolf in London poster: (From the top) “From the director of Animal House…a new kind of animal.”

A white-blue moon is framed by scraps of a cloud. Jack and David look at it fearfully, wearing green and red coats and backpacks, soaked by rain. The film’s title is written in white capital letters followed by “The monster movie.”

4) An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Written and directed by John Landis (who would go on to direct Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video), An American Werewolf in London tells the tragic tale of David and Jack, two American students trekking through the UK. They encounter some hostile pub-goers who send them on their way, where the students are attacked by a werewolf. Jack dies, while David lives and starts having weird dreams about hunting naked in a forest and wolf-Nazis shooting his family.

The humour is as black as it comes, and the moon-themed soundtrack is especially entertaining by the end of the film. The special effects are simplistic by today’s standards, but the end results are now legendary. Just watch David’s transformation and try not to wince.

SCARE-FACTOR: 3

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 4

Get Out poster: The poster is entirely black and white, with the title written in a bold, monochromatic font. Chris (Kaluuya) sits in a leather chair, sweating and screaming up at something we can’t see.

3) Get Out (2017)

This film’s reputation completely preceded it. Nominated for numerous awards, I was initially put off by the amount of hype behind it until I saw it this year.

Get Out starts off simply enough, with Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) meeting his girlfriend’s parents. Except she hasn’t told them he is black, and what comes next is a lot of casual racism from them and their friends that’s enough to make the audiences squirm on Chris’s behalf. On top of that, the parents have black housekeepers who act super weird, and there’s something…off about the whole thing.

I felt a near-constant sense of discomfort and anxiety watching through the film, which comes to a head with a unique twist that was a genuine shock. Get Out is the kind of movie that sticks with you long after you see it. Like, seriously, go and see it. The hype was worth it.

SCARE-FACTOR: 5

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 4

Bram Stoker’s Dracula poster: (From the top) A demonic face is flanked by two dragon faces, like stone gargoyles, framing a black doorway. Here is an intense-looking Dracula in his human form, holding Mina against him. They are surrounded by white light. Mina’s head is turned a little away from Dracula, revealing her neck and bare shoulders in a low-cut dress. Her hand is pressed across her collarbone. The tagline reads LOVE NEVER DIES in white above the title in dripping red. Grey, ghostly figures surround them. (Left) The vampire brides look seductive, the elderly Dracula with his iconic domed ponytail has his hand outstretched to a scarily alluring gesture, and a shadowed figure thrusts a crucifix triumphantly in the air. Mina laughs with her friend, Lucy, at the bottom. (Right) Dr. Van Helsing (Anthony Hopkins) holds a blazing torch in front of him, bellowing something as if to ward something away. Mina strokes Jonathan’s cheek, while another picture of Mina shows her hair is loose, and her dress exposes a lot of her cleavage. Tattered flags and poles go to war below her.

2) Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

As you can probably tell by now, vampire films were kind of my jam as a teen, none more so than Francis Ford Coppola’s adaptation of Bram Stoker’s famous novel.

Lawyer Jonathan Harker (Keanu Reeves, possibly the worst and strangest casting choice for a British character ever) is sent to Transylvania. There, he meets Dracula (the fabulous Gary Oldman), who plans to move to Britain. Harker then quickly discovers the Count is more than just an eccentric old man living in a spooky castle but is a vampire. Everyone back home is in terrible danger, especially Harker’s young fiancée, Mina, who is the reincarnated soul of Dracula’s lost love.

Oh, wow, I was probably too young when I watched this the first time around. Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a faithful adaptation of the book, told through letters and diaries. However, it is a little more liberal with its violent and sexual themes that just do not exist in a book written by a 19th-century Catholic gentleman.

Nevertheless, I’m a romantic, so I enjoy the controversial idea of Dracula as a sympathetic character. The different techniques to capture the dark, weird, Gothic style of the whole thing helps make it one of the most memorable horror films I’ve ever seen.

SCARE-FACTOR: 4

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 4

Taking the phrase “seeing red” a little too literally here…

Picture Description: Dracula (Oldman) is in his human form. Though he looks dashing in a silver suit with a matching top hat and purple sunglasses, his eyes are bright red. His dark hair tumbles past his neck, and he has a neat moustache and beard. His mouth is open as if about to bite Mina, who is lying with her eyes closed, breathing heavily. She’s wearing a little green hat and matching gown.

Before I reveal my favourite horror film, here are some honourable mentions that I enjoy, but just didn’t quite make the final list.

Honourable Mentions:

· The Mummy (1999) – SCARE-FACTOR: 2 – ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 4

· The Woman in Black (2010) – SCARE-FACTOR: 4 – ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 3

The Lost Boys (1987) – SCARE-FACTOR: 3 – ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 3

Drum roll, please! My number 1 favourite horror film is...

Crimson Peak poster: (From the top) The poster is black, and BEWARE is written in red. The mansion, Crimson Peak, is a ghostly blue spectre with a ghostly red Edith walking away from the house towards us in an ankle-length Victorian dress with wide shoulder-sleeves. The cast is written in white – the title is directly below Edith in the same font and colour as BEWARE.

1) Crimson Peak (2015)

As directors go, few blends fantasy and horror as seamlessly as Guillermo Del Toro; Crimson Peak is no exception, favouring the notion that ghosts exist due to tragic deaths, and are desperately trying to expose the truth behind it.

An aspiring young writer named Edith (Mia Wasikowska) has been able to see ghosts since she was a child after her mother died and subsequently visited her to warn Edith of “Crimson Peak.” A handsome Englishman named Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston) comes to town with his sister Lucille (Jessica Chastain), asking for money from Edith’s father to build a machine to mine clay. Thomas and Edith fall in love and, after Edith’s father is killed under suspicious circumstances, they marry, and Edith moves to his ancient family home – ooh, damn – Crimson Peak.

The story is compelling, a mystery that slowly unravels with shocks and jump-scares along the way. All the while, there’s a bad feeling that something unsavoury is going on as Edith is visited by numerous ghosts that are just wonderful in their scarlet grotesqueness. The film is gorgeously shot, Hiddleston looks entirely at home in a top hat and tails, and the real horror, visceral as it is, is found in the darker fragments of humanity. For me, that beats CGI spooks and cheap jump-scares any day.

Picture Description: It’s raining, so lots of black umbrellas are up in a small crowd of people all wearing black for Edith’s father’s funeral. Thomas Sharpe holds an umbrella to shield both himself and Edith, whose eyes are red from crying. They wear black hats with a small veil draped over Edith’s face from the top of her hat.

SCARE-FACTOR: 5

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 5

Happy Halloween!

My Sources:

Van Helsing poster: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_Helsing_(film)

Vampire woman GIF: https://gfycat.com/knobbygrotesquegermanspaniel-van-helsing-vampire

Monster House poster: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385880/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

It poster: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1396484/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3

Pennywise picture: https://www.digitalspy.com/movies/a27416524/it-chapter-2-bill-skarsgard-pennywise-more-vicious/

The Omen poster: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Omen

“Ave Santani” (The Omen theme): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttx-KGs1m20

The Cabin in the Woods poster: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259521/