It’s October, so we are getting closer to Christmas (and my subsequent Studio Ghibli list). But wait! I’m getting ahead of myself! We’re also coming up to Halloween, so what’s a more perfect film than the new Haunted Mansion? It’s not to be confused with The Haunted Mansion, which came out in 2003; both films are based on the popular Disney attraction of the same name.
Side note: if you’re not a fan of rollercoasters or big scares, I could not recommend the Haunted Mansion ride highly enough. You must go to Paris or America to experience it first-hand, but it’s worth queuing for (…or watching the rides online).
As I went into the film, my first glaring question was: why did Disney choose to release Haunted Mansion in August? Secondly, would the plot stay true to the ride, or would it go weirdly rogue like it did with Eddie Murphy? While I’d enjoyed the reincarnated ghost twist, the father too obsessed with work to spend time with his kids is up there with amnesia as a trope I can’t stand. My third question was whether I would survive Empire’s D-Box experience.
After moving to their new home, Gabby (Rosario Dawson, Asoka) and her young son quickly discover their mansion is infested with ghosts. Rather than stick with it and hope the spirits go away, they enlist the help of a priest (Owen Wilson, Loki), a medium (Tiffany Haddish, Night School), and a historian (Danny DeVito, Matilda) to get rid of them without success. A cynical ghost hunter called Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield, Sorry To Bother You) still reels from the death of his wife, attracting the attention of the mansion’s most malevolent spirit.
Given my initial worries about Haunted Mansion, I am glad to write how unfounded they were. It greets us with the iconic line, “Welcome, foolish mortals!” and gives enthusiastic nods to different aspects of the ride throughout (shame about the unconvincing crocodiles). I found the whole thing refreshing: five lonely adults coming to aid a single mother and her boy and finding friendship along the way. It is as heartwarming as it sounds, but we see so little of Matthias and his wife, who plays a significant part in his character arc. Owen Wilson’s wise-cracking Father Kent quickly gets irritating (the twist came as no surprise), Danny DeVito’s Bruce has been fascinated by the mansion since he was a boy, and Haddish’s Harriet has a surprisingly sad backstory; all in all, I couldn’t help thinking all these could have been explored more within a TV series than a film. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis plays the enchantress Madame Leota; unfortunately, her CGI head is too uncanny to be realistic.
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In a dimly lit room, Madame Leota (Jamie Lee Curtis) is a head suspended in a eerily-lit crystal ball. Her long, grey curls fill the ball like Medusa's snake. |
Haunted Mansion is rated 12A, and there are some genuine scares, but the ghosts look quirky and child-friendly. The aforementioned malevolent spirit (played by extreme method actor Jared Leto) has a disappointing character design. Rather than look like a rotting corpse, he reminded me of an animated chimp in a suit, so it was neither frightening nor funny, just odd.
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Dressed in a top hat with a cravat, the ghost leers menacingly. His skin is grey with prominent cheekbones and yellow eyes. He holds a silver cane. |
While the film’s release date confuses me (to hell with the blockbuster season; this film ends on Halloween!), Haunted Mansion stays faithful to the ride’s lore and is a lot of fun. Like 4DX in Cineworld screen, D-Box seats vibrate and jolt with specific actions, like doors closing and cars in motion, with adjustable ferocity. The highest setting was initially exciting, if a little distracting, but it added some unexpected immersion.
My Rating: 3 STARS OUT OF 5
My Sources:
Haunted Mansion poster – https://artofthemovies.co.uk/collections/disney-movie-posters/products/haunted-mansion-2023-ds-os-01
When was The Haunted Mansion released? - https://uk.movies.yahoo.com/haunted-mansion-release-date-cast-reviews-disney-movie-145909587.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAGZdrZ7YO_qSNnK23fXUHCXBcn_i3mqGqlC1F6osm09zXEJEs3mcXrWmnOzXWgqSFJVZsaV-FHq1ivYRTPpEmSV5-OVfZhtCky_nPShmLhEv7A9vJBgI_zSCkHYj0hItr9de-BoqBKNqZwj-q90axtuDMNoWgMGzsXcj18LWX0_H
The REAL story of The Haunted Mansion ride - https://www.disneyfoodblog.com/2020/06/03/so-whats-the-real-backstory-of-disney-worlds-haunted-mansion-residents/
Haunted Mansion cast - https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1695843/
Image: Madame Leota – https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/disney-haunted-mansion-trailer-grim-grinning-ghosts-jamie-lee-curtis-madame-leota/
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