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Poster Description: (Behind, from left), Cyborg, Batman, Aquaman stand together. The Flash and Wonder Woman stand on either side of the tagline, “You can’t save the world along,” which uses their numerous symbols to spell it out. The film’s title is bizarrely small below it, but our heroes are dramatically lit. |
In the wake of Zack Snyder’s extended cut of Justice League – the fittingly name Snyder Cut – I watched the theatrical version again. Would this new four-hour cut be worth the wait? Even I can’t believe I wrote that, but I will answer this in another post. For now, the question is whether its predecessor was as bad as I remembered.
The Director: Zack Snyder/Joss Whedon
The Cast:
Ben Affleck – Bruce Wayne/Batman
Gal Gadot – Diana Prince/Wonder Woman
Jason Momoa – Arthur Curry/Aquaman
Ezra Miller – Barry Allen/The Flash
Ray Fisher – Victor Stone/Cyborg
Henry Cavill – Clark Kent/Superman
Amy Adams – Lois Lane
Jeremy Irons – Alfred
Ciarán Hinds – Steppenwolf
Joe Morton – Silas Stone
Diane Lane – Martha Kent
J.K Simmonds – Commissioner Gordon
Connie Nielson – Queen Hippolyta
Certificate: 12A
Released in UK cinemas: 17th November 2017
The Plot:
In honour of Superman’s sacrifice, Bruce Wayne (Affleck, Argo) unites with his new ally, Diana Prince (Gadot, Wonder Woman), to defend Earth. They’re going to need more help to fight the latest, far more significant threat that’s heading their way.
The Review:
The film begins with footage from some young podcasters, breathlessly interviewing Superman after he saves another day. It would have been a brilliant opening, except for one ludicrous problem: Henry Cavill’s top lip. Reshoots were required, following Zack and Deborah Snyder’s decision to step away from the film. Unfortunately for Cavill, these clashed with filming Mission: Impossible 6; Paramount refused to let Cavill shave off the moustache he grew for his role. The offending facial fuzz was digitally removed, and the end results look fine… until Cavill opens his mouth.
*Confused screaming* Image Description: Superman has his mouth
open. The top half of his face looks normal, but his mouth is distorted and
weird.
Sigrid’s version of “Everybody Knows” demonstrates the overall feeling of hopelessness after the events of Batman VS Superman. Adams grounds the film with her quiet, brittle performance as Lois Lane. She chastises herself for not being “strong enough” to carry on without Clark Kent; it makes her talks with his mother (the underused Diane Lane) all the more moving.
Since his success with the MCU, it sounded like a good idea to get Joss Whedon to write and direct the film. Rather than honour Zack Snyder’s vision, Whedon fired Junkie XL and hired Danny Elfman as the composer. The tonal shift is mixed, to say the least, as fans of The Batman will appreciate Elfman blatantly sampling from his iconic score. Nevertheless, the film lacks that dark, broody atmosphere that Snyder favours while leaning on a lot of slow-motion to keep his fans happy-ish.
Ben Affleck’s performance as Batman is not perfect, but not as terrible as people made it out to be. Jeremy Irons is a very likeable Alfred, and they get to bond over numerous Bat vehicles, including the laughable Night Crawler. However, for all their chemistry, the dialogue clunks along, desperately trying not to succumb to the sassy dialogue Marvel films are known for. Besides Barry Allen’s confusion over brunch (which falls flat in its attempt to sound quirky), the film frequently succumbs to cliches and takes itself too seriously.
Diana Prince: People said the Age of Heroes would never come again.
Bruce Wayne: It has to. We don’t have any more time!
Despite Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman appearing in previous films, The Flash and Cyborg don’t have their own features. Perhaps it is unsurprising that their introductions are rushed yet heavy on exposition, something the film suffers throughout. I was fascinated by Victor constantly learning about his new robotic body, as it kept updating like a computer, and The Flash’s accidental powers are only vaguely explained. His father is in jail for the murder of his mother, and no one wants to explore that, apparently. Miller provides a lot of the film’s comedy, making his character endearingly awkward and entirely out of his depth. A particular highlight was when the rest of the League left him behind with Commissioner Gordon (J.K Simmonds in a superb casting choice, toupee, and all), much to their bewilderment.
They deserved better! Image Description: Cyborg and The Flash stand,
shoulder to shoulder. Cyborg’s computerised eye and chest glow red, matching The
Flash’s suit.
In Wonder Woman, after years of inadequacy for the sake of the male gaze, it felt like a turning point that the warriors wore armour that didn’t unnecessarily accentuate their boobs or reveal too much flesh; you know, protecting them as it should. It’s what makes Michael Wilkinson’s decision to revert back to metal bikinis in Justice League all the more infuriating. What’s more, the entire chase/fight scene against Steppenwolf is laughable. Not only does he look like a poorly rendered World of Warcraft character with equally two-dimensional motives, but his preferred mode of travel is also the popular 2010s trope of sky portal.
Sigh.
A common issue with Joss Whedon is he makes the heroine take a step back as she shakes her head in dismay at the men around her. Because, you know, empowerment. While Wonder Woman is the voice of reason, offering many hasty expositions and most of the “superhero landings,” the camera seems fixated on her arse.
Image Description: Wonder Woman stands on the
outstretched arm of a golden statue. It wears a crown and holds some scales in
one hand and a sword in the other. Diana holds onto it for support, especially
as she is high enough to see the tops of other buildings around her. 
Diana Prince: “Children. I work with children.”
If that is the case, Aquaman is a cantankerous teenager. Like Gadot, Momoa isn’t given a lot to go on in the film, besides being the grouchy cynic with fantastic hair. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the use of The White Stripes song, “Icky Thump,” as Arthur strides out to open water, swigging alcohol, as if to say, “There he is, in a nutshell.” It’s enough to make one consider watching Aquaman again.
With Steppenwolf hunting three “Mother Boxes” to take over the Earth, the League has no idea what they’re doing. That’s fine, but the stakes are strangely vague, except for the Russian family offering the human touch in all the alien madness. Even when the last Mother McGuffin is taken, the general reaction is nothing short of blasé. What is holding this League together, anyway?
The battle against an amnesiac Superman was great fun, though. The look on Clark’s face as he spots Barry running towards him is somewhere between hilarious and terrifying. It sets up the brief credit scene when they race together, but by then, you’re wondering what the hell it was all about.
It’s palpable how desperate DC and Warner Bros are to compete with Marvel’s success. But by cutting corners and rushing to get to the exciting stuff, Justice League is a lesson in how not to make a mediocre superhero movie. Was it awful as I remembered it? Yes, without a doubt. Needless to say, Zack Snyder’s version can’t be any worse than this.
The Verdict: 2.5 OUT OF 5
My Sources:
Justice League poster: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0974015/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3
Image: Superman - https://www.thewrap.com/the-10-most-terrifying-shots-of-supermans-cgi-mouth-in-justice-league-snyder-cut-photos/
What’s going on with Superman’s lip? - https://www.thewrap.com/why-superman-mouth-looked-weird-in-justice-league-snyder/
Joss Whedon made some changes - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0974015/trivia?ref_=tt_trv_trv
Quotes from the film - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0974015/quotes/?tab=qt&ref_=tt_trv_qu
Image: Cyborg and The Flash - https://www.screengeek.net/2018/03/04/justice-league-ezra-miller-ray-fisher-zack-snyder-joss-whedon/
Image: Wonder Woman about to dish out some justice - https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/15/movies/justice-league-review-wonder-woman-batman-dc-comics.html
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